Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
