we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
These tits shall not be calmed
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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