I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
