so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
