They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
