ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
