why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
