are you so shy because you have an std?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
