four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
