Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Couch. On fire.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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