I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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