i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
