Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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