my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
