what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
