At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
