this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
