We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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