i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
