I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
