I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
