I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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