She is in my trunk
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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