Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
