I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
