Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
