You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
