i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
