at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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