i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
