YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
