Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
