I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
