He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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