remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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