If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
