Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
