I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
