the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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