We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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