Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
