her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
