i just google imaged poop.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
