can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
