What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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