Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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