You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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