I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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