still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
