Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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