I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
