Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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