i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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